Both of my daughters are at that age when they start dating. As much as I wanted to make sure this didn’t happen until they were at least 30, there is nothing to prevent it. We can’t lock them in their respective bedrooms for another 10 years until we feel they are ready. It seems that good old mother nature has somehow triggered their brains to notice the opposite sex.
I’ve tried to be upfront and assure them both not to expect their dating lives or “courtship” for marriage to be like The Bachelor. It would be great if their future boyfriends and husbands picked them up in a hot air balloon equipped with dinner and a choir to sing to them while they eat, but chances are that’s not happening. Instead, they should expect a guy in a dented 1996 Mustang and a night at Applebees. If, by some chance, the balloon ride happens more power to you, but be realistic.
I knew this day was coming, and as a Dad, it’s something we don’t look forward to. No matter what we do, our little girls are going to be heading out our front door into a car with a boy. I was a young boy, and I know what young boys are thinking! I don’t want to sound like an overprotective dad who cleans his gun when a boy comes to the door or shouts, “I don’t mind going back to prison,” but I do want to make sure that my girls are treated with the decency and respect they deserve.
What you will see here are ground rules for dating my daughters. These are rules and requirements that apply to my house and should apply in yours as well. As parents we do our best to raise girls that respect themselves and boys who respect women. If you’ve done an excellent job as a parent, these won’t be issues you need to address, but if you’re concerned, then read on.
I’m a big believer in first impressions, so don’t come to my front door looking like a homeless person. Pull up your pants, if they are hanging below your ass, you will have the door closed in your face. A clean shirt and presentable appearance are crucial if you want to date my daughters. I’m by no means an expert in fashion, but I know what sloppy looks like.
Spend time with us parents
I will be suspicious if you don’t want to spend time at my house or around me and my wife. What are you hiding that you never want to be here? When you do spend time at our home I recommend you be present. Put your cell phone away and talk with us. I understand if you’re shy, but you need to look me in the eye when we are having a conversation. If not, I think you’re shady and hiding something. Show some manners.
Absolutely no touching
You are only dating one girl, my daughter
If I find out you are dating someone else or cheating on her while dating my daughter, I (and my wife) will hunt you down and find you. I am following all of my daughters’ social media accounts and consistently check in to see what’s happening on her timelines with her friends. If I see or read anything about you cheating or “seeing” someone else while you’re together, do not expect to ever come back in my home or near my daughter. Unless you’ve both agreed to see other people do not do it. Do not break her heart.
Do not make her cry
Seeing my daughters cry is one of the hardest things I face as a father. If those tears are because of you, we have a problem. You will never earn my respect by making my daughter cry or making her upset in any way. There’s also an excellent chance you may be crying as well the next time we cross paths. I’m not a large man, but I’m Italian, I know people, and I “got a guy.” End of story.
Curfews are in place for a reason, so obey them and have her home when required. Staying out later than curfew will not bode well for you and may result in immediate repercussions. Know in advance that there will be a tracking device placed on your vehicle and that we have eyes everywhere and will find you! If you think you will be late for some unforeseen reason, have her contact us.
Do not lie to me
I am an expert on the internet. I may seem like an “old man” who’s out of touch, but I can wield a mouse and keyboard like it’s nobody’s business. I can find out things about you, your family, your dog, whenever I need to. If I ask where you are going be upfront and tell the truth. If you are not where you say you’re going to be, I will find. My daughters both have a tracking device that I pay for monthly from Verizon, and it lets me know their every move. Proper use of Life360 or Find My Friends is critical for accurate tracking.
Get out of the car
If I hear a car horn beeping, I can only assume it’s one of my neighbors giving a courteous “toot” on the horn as they pass my house. (It’s a little thing we do in our neighborhood to our friends). Get out of your car and come to the front door if you want to take her out. I am not going to lie; you will get accosted by my dogs, and you will most likely be covered in dog hair by the time you leave, but that’s the price you pay for dating my daughter. Beep your horn at your “Brah’s” house, not mine.
Have a job
Don’t even think of dating my daughter if you can’t pay to take her to the movies or dinner. I’m not looking for her to get involved with a lazy leech of a boyfriend who sits home all day doing nothing. Have a job, earn a paycheck, and take her out every once in a while instead of sitting in your moms’ basement all the time. Be proud you’re dating my daughter and treat her well.
Let them decide their own rules
If you’re a parent with boys, then take this knowledge as fact. These rules are what many parents of daughters are thinking when your son comes “knocking.” If you have daughters then I wish you all the luck in the world. We are on one crazy ride of emotions, estrogen and god knows what else!
Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments below.